What Color Is The Sky?
by JokerExplosion
Summary: Or Harley's failed attempt to seduce the Joker. Follow Duo through another trying day with Harley Quinn and the Joker. Who will survive? A bit of Harley bashing. OC. T for mentions of sexual content. Follows Don't Be the Monkey Toaster.


****_**Hey guys, I'm back with another fit of insanity. This one was written after the very disturbing image of Harley in lingerie popped into my head after watching a few too many Batman fan films. I will warn everyone again; this is not for people who really like Harley. Enjoy more Duo sarcasm. Oh, and this one even has the Joker in it. Yay! **_

_**And a special thank you to shoeychocolatXD, JustDavidA, and Lady Cassandra Destiny for their kind reviews, and to everyone else who read and liked Don't Be the Monkey Toaster. Which you can find if you type Monkey Toaster into a Google search. Which I think is cool. :) **_

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><p><em>What Color is the Sky?<em>

Harley Quinn was not a very patient woman. She had waited long enough for the Joker to notice her advances, and now she was just plain frustrated. So, she thought as she stood in front of her full length (slightly cracked) mirror, I'm just going to have to be more obvious. She smirked as she admired the sight of her new black lingerie. It was a lacy black push up bra, with tiny black panties. She had paired it with stiletto high heel pumps (also in black) and had let her hair out if its usual pigtails.

There was just one problem to her seduce-the-Joker plan, and it was sitting right out on the lumpy old couch. Duo. That damn hermaphrodite freak was always the Joker's favorite, and she didn't even have to try! Harley frowned, trying to think of a way to get rid of the black haired problem.

"Hey Duo!" Duo looked lazily over at her _companion_, red/black eyes widening when she saw the getup the blonde had put herself in.

"Yes, Har Har?" she asked, eyes rolling when Harley walked to stand in front of her with a glare that would make a baby cry at the most. All it did for Duo was make Harley look like a pouting child playing dress up.

"I want you to get lost for tonight. Joker and Me are gonna have some _alone_ time, if you know what I mean." Duo took in the outfit again, crossed her legs and smirked.

"Uh, no, I don't think I will leave, but…I can stay in my room all night and not bother you. But seriously Harley, it's not going to work. Joker doesn't really look at things that can't explode." Duo said without a hint of anything that resembled pity for her _friend_. Harley just glared that baby-scaring glare and stalked off, the click of her heels the only response.

It was about two hours later that Joker came back to find Duo missing and Harley sitting on the couch in nothing but her underwear. Duo had seen Joker coming, and, keeping her promise, had disappeared into her room with a box of takeout and a book (both stolen of course).

Joker didn't really know what to do with the half-dressed Harlequin, so instead of worrying about it, he just slipped out of his coat and fell onto the couch, not bothering to wipe the blood off of his face where it had mingled with the makeup. He looked up only when he heard a throat clear. Harley was standing there in front of him, still mostly naked and wearing a leer that Joker had sworn he had seen somewhere before, but he just couldn't remember where.

"Hi there Mr. J. What do you think of my new outfit?" Joker just blinked.

"Uhh, it's…very nice." he said before looking back at the small TV. It wasn't all that interesting really, but it did help distract him from Harley. That was until said woman decided that she'd had enough of being ignored and had climbed into his lap. It wasn't long before she was trying to suck his soul out through his mouth, and at the same time, trying to tear one of his better shirts off of him.

He pushed her away slightly, still a bit confused by what was going on. He wasn't exactly a, uh, sexual being, but it seemed that Harley was trying her hardest to get him to be. He giggled… a habit he had gotten into when he was nervous, and pretty soon that giggle had turned into a full blown laugh. Harley slid off of him and onto the floor with a look so pathetic it only made the Joker laugh harder.

So, doing the only thing she could, she ran, and because she wasn't paying attention to where she was going, she ended up tripping right over Duo. Somehow she had ended up in the other's room.

Duo jerked awake, and looked owlishly up at Harley, wondering why the other girl had tried to land on her. It only took her a second to hear the Joker's laughter cut off abruptly and for Harley her cling to her, tears pouring down her face, smearing the makeup that she always wore as the Harlequin. Duo, not entirely sure what to do, just wrapped her arms around the crying blonde.

"He…he just laughed. I tried, I did, but he just laughed." Duo pulled her closer and ran a hand down her long blonde hair.

"If it makes you feel any better, Joker laughs when he doesn't know what to do. It's kind of his way of dealing with things." Harley just snorted, and Duo could feel the makeup rubbing off against her shoulder and cheek. "Hold on a tic." said the black haired girl, standing quickly and going to the small bathroom. She came back a moment later with a damp washcloth and began the careful task of clean Harley's face. She was, by this point, and expert at getting grease paint off, having had to help the Joker many times when he was to injured/tired/bored to do it himself. Harley sniffled pitifully as she was cleaned, but allowed Duo to do her work without fuss. This was unusual for the dark haired girl, because she was, again, used to Joker.

It didn't take long before there was not a trace of makeup on Harley, save for small bits in the corners of her eyes.

"Thank you." she whispered, following Duo's every move as the other girl tossed the rag onto the floor a few feet away from the mattress that they called a bed.

"Duo, can I ask you something?" resisting the urge to say 'you already have', Duo just nodded. "I know you and Joker have done it before, but I just wanna know…how did you get him to…you know?"

"Well, I didn't exactly give him a choice. Joker is the kind of person who understands things very well if he is made to notice them. On his own, he could be oblivious to the color of the sky, and that's not a joke. Seriously, ask him some time what color it is." she paused as Harley giggled a bit. "He only ever had sex with me, because I wanted it, and I took it."

"So you raped him?" Duo just laughed, shaking her head.

"No, he was very willing, it just took me a minute to get him to see that. Not that I cared at that point. Screwed up hormones really make it hard to care about anything but what you want." Harley nodded, pulling one of Duo's many blankets up over herself. It was kind of cold in this small place in the Narrows. Especially when all she had on was a bra and underwear.

"So what was it like?" Harley blushed as she asked this, but Duo just smiled.

"Good I guess. He didn't actually have much to do with it; I just sort of push him down and had my way with him really." Harley sighed, her eyes going out of focus as she no doubt imagined exactly what she would like to do to the Joker. She shivered, feeling herself grow tired as her mind swirled with images of her Joker and what a wonderful life they could have together.

Duo just shook her head at her _friend's_ expressions. It was obvious that the blonde was tired and it only took a moment for her to drift off into dream land. Duo slid from the room quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping Harlequin, only to find the Joker sitting on the couch staring intently at whatever he was watching on TV.

"Hey, Joker." he looked up, smirked a bit then went right back to watching. Duo found herself shaking her head for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"Where did…uh…Harley go?" he asked, still not looking up from the TV.

"My room. You should feel proud. What was it, five minutes to make her cry?" she asked, flopping down on the couch, it didn't take her long to notice the blood slowly trickling from the cut on his forehead. He just chuckled a bit, still staring at the screen. "Come on, that blood's not going to clean itself up." she said, pulling him from the couch with only a small fight. He had given up resisting about the same time his knives had stopped scaring her. "Batman again?" she asked as she lead him to the bathroom.

"Mmmm, he, uh, doesn't like it when I blow up bank vaults." Duo laughed, before pushing Joker down on the toilet.

"Imagine that." she began the same ritual that she had just preformed on Harley (though this time with more struggling) thinking the whole time that both of the people she lived with were completely oblivious to everything that went on around them.

"Hey Joker…what color is the sky?" He looked thoughtful for a moment before saying finally "Green!"

_Fin_

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><p><strong><em>And we never will know if he was joking or not. Anyway please tell me what you think, I love hearing from you. Next up, the Joker tries baking cookies. And won't that be scary? We'll see you then!<em>**


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